One of those days

Already today feels like a bit of a write-off, although I am trying not to let it be so. It's 'one of those days', or at least I could label it as that and then just let the day take over! But I am still trying to resist, I am still trying to fight this day because I don't want to come to the end of it and just feel like it's been for nothing. Even when I feel exhausted and beaten, it doesn't mean I can't give God glory and make a difference to someone, although i'm not quite sure what or who yet.

I dragged myself out of bed this morning feeling strangely fatigued even though i'd had 7 hours sleep. I traipsed downstairs, sleepily laid out some cereal for the boys and set them up for breakfast, prayed with them and then stumbled back up the stairs bleary eyed and got in the shower. That helped, and once dressed and out the door to take Asher to nursery I felt much more normal. Once back at home I ate someone, took a multivitamin and omega oils and settled on the sofa to do some reading. But after 3 chapters of Job, I couldn't keep my eyes open. I tried to shuffle about, change positions but I admitted defeat realising I wasn't taking in any of what Job was saying, and fell asleep, like turning a light bulb off, click, I was asleep. I haven't felt THAT tired for ages!

During which time Pete (who doesn't start work until 1pm and works til 10pm) made lunch and went out with Isaac to pick Asher up from nursery at 11:30. I woke up for lunch, which helped and cleared up, put Isaac down for a nap and now I am sitting here trying my hardest to stop my head hitting the pillow again!!! It's a miserable rainy day outside which doesn't help because I would force myself outside for some fresh air, but I don't want to get all soggy and cold and wet today. Not today.

So in the hope of salvaging this day and not spending the rest of it dosing on the sofa while the boys run riot, I am going to go peel potatoes for dinner, set up some painting for the boys to do, make a phone call and write a letter, and then once those few things are done maybe I will permit myself a 20 minute sit down and not feel guilty because at least I would have done SOMETHING!

Nana Miles

The ironing is done, bathrooms are cleaned, the whole house vacuumed, meat marinating in the fridge, clothes put away, uniform laid out, floors mopped, kitchen cleaned, facebook checked! Yes, it's Sunday night, Monday morning looms! But this is not going to be just any Monday, THIS is going to be a special Monday! During prayers tonight we prayed with the boys for safe travels for their Nana Miles who they are so very excited to see tomorrow after 2 years! What a treat they are in for! We are looking forward to hugs, laughter, walks, stories, meals together, trips out, and new memories made. So I shall say goodnight because I have muffins to make in the morning!

Christmas Morning Muffins

I think it only fair to share with you the muffin recipe which got us through the christmas season!

Christmas morning muffins

250g Plain flour

2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder

1/2 teaspoon bicarbonate of soda

100g caster sugar

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg

2 clementines/satsumas

approx 125ml milk

75ml veg oil or melted butter left to cool slightly

1 egg

175g dried cranberries

3 teaspoons demerara sugar for the topping

Preheat the oven to 200C/gas mark 6. Line 12 bun muffin tins with muffin papers or silicone inserts

Measure the flour, baking powder, bicarb, caster sugar, cinnamon, and nutmeg into a large bowl.Grate the zest of the clementines over and combine.

Squeeze the juice of the clementines into a measuring jug, and pur in the milk intil it comes to the 200ml mark.

Add oil and egg and lightly beat until just combined.

Pour this liquid mixture into the bowl of dried ingredients and stir until everything is combined. Lumpy batter is a good thing here.

Fold in the cranberries and spoon the batter into the muffin cases and sprinkle with demerara sugar on top.

Bake in the oven for 20 mins. ENJOY!

Carpe Diem

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/glennon-melton/dont-carpe-diem_b_1206346.html

Grace

I doubt anyone ever reads this, but that's not too important really. It's a really nice outlet to just type all your thoughts out. Like a diary or journal, but much more efficient - much faster than handwriting and my hand isn't aching after 10 minutes. I find handwriting tiresome for some reason, although I love to send letters to friends, but my handwriting is AWFUL, and I mean awful, like my teachers used to struggle to understand my essays at school!!!

I actually forgot about this blog to be honest, and reading the last post I had written a whole year ago makes me wonder how time can go so fast without noticing! I am put to shame reading last years new years resolutions because I have totally failed, and that's hard to take, but I will not be discouraged because I am human and God's Grace is sufficient.

This year has been FULL. Moving house was fun, (and stressful and tiring!!!) but it's good to be settled in our own place that we can call home and do what we want to it. Today we had plasterers in to fix the hallway and landing walls so we hope to paint when that has dried. We have not chosen a colour yet, really have no clue what to pick, am hoping it will just come to me when we go to B&Q. So today has been pretty hectic trying to keep the boys from accidentally running into the wet plastered walls or tripping over ladders and dust sheets! I have had little patience today actually which didn't help and struggled when they decided they didn't want to listen when I asked them to tidy toys away or sit on their bottoms to eat their dinner! It's bizarre how some days I can be over-spilling with patience and other days the smallest thing will tip me over the edge. At least I can walk into their bedrooms tonight while they are sleeping and with one look I fall right back in love with them as they snore away and know tomorrow is a new day and God will supply all my needs.

God's Grace is so apparent in my life at the moment. Whenever I just don't think I can rise to the challenge he has set me, his constant Grace and mercy pulls me through. In finding out I need more surgery...my human thinking is anger, frustration, disbelief and pain, but then he reminds me that 'Naked I came from my mother's womb and naked will I depart. The LORD gives and the LORD takes away. May the name of YAHWEH be PRAISED' Job 1v21.

Every breath I breathe is from him and every step I take is because he keeps me from stumbling. And so I ask him to help me remember that every day and go on living with gratitude in my heart.

New year

I cannot believe another year has gone by already. It doesn't feel like yesterday that I sat here at the end of last year considering my life, what I had accomplished and what needed changing, and here I am again doing the same. Do you believe in resolutions? I am a huge fan of them, but not just at the new year, EVERY DAY! Every single morning is an opportunity to resolve to do something better, to do something we haven't done before, to try harder, to be more consistent, motivated.

My last few years have been quite a flop if I am honest. Since having children I have found it really challenging to manage my time and energy levels enough to spend time with God, actual QUALITY time with him. Yeah sure I have learnt a lot about patience, love and self sacrifice through being a mother and have still felt very close to God in the process and very in tune with him in my day to day, but what I have been lacking is actually the opportunity to feed of his word. Well, that is gonna change this year. woohoo! I have finally figured it out, although it's taken me long enough... I cannot read in the evening, I am too tired and burnt out by the day. I have no time in the daytime because the days are always just so full on. I might be able to grab 5-10 mins here or there but that is not enough for quality prayer and reading. SO, that leaves me with the only other option but to get up and have this time with God before the monkey's wake up! I had come to this conclusion even a year ago, but throughout the past year have not managed to commit to getting up at 6am. Always too tired, went to bed too late etc etc. But now this is going to change and I am SO excited for what God has in store for me!

To actually get up and spend some time, just me and God before the day begins, it's going to be SO refreshing. I am NOT a morning person, but I have realised I have to train myself. This cannot just happen naturally anymore than a person running a marathon without training. It is a discipline I have to commit to, and push through the pain of it until it becomes second nature. The getting up part is agonising, just another hour in bed, oh I need just another hour in bed! But when I come to the end of my day again and realise I have not read or prayed, I feel worse than that initial feeling in the morning. I long to be with God and draw closer to him, and it's going to take a disciplined effort to do so. The benefits of this will far outweigh any negatives. The JOY of spending the past few morning with God in the peace of the morning have been bliss.
This isn't about 'reading' and 'praying'. That is not what is required for salvation. That is not a passport to the Kingdom. If I force myself to get up and do this I am not ticking boxes to earn my salvation,NO! I am ALREADY saved. I don't need to fear the judgement or whether I will be in the kingdom or not, it is already done for me. What this is about is drawing closer to God BECAUSE he has saved me and because of gratitude. To draw close to him and he will draw close to me. THAT is what this is about!

Chistmas Gingerbread Biscuits

Ingredients

150g Butter
60g Caster Sugar
60g Soft dark brown sugar
60g Golden syrup
360g Plain Flour
1tsp Bicarbonate of Soda
1.5 tsp Ground ginger
1/2 tsp ground cinnamon

1) Preheat oven to gas mark 4/180C/350F. Line a baking tray
2) Melt butter with both types of sugar and golden syrup
3) Sieve flour, bicarb, ginger and cinnamon into a large bowl, then add melted mixture and mix together.
4) Knead the mixture for a few second until to comes together. add a little water if needed, but keep the sough soft, not sticky.
5) Flatten the dough into a round, 2cm thick, then wrap with cling film and put in the fridge for 30 mins.
6) Dust work surface and roll out dough. Stamp out shapes with a cookie cutter.
7) Bake in the oven for 10-12 mins or until golden. Remove from oven, cool on wire rack and ice then cool.
8) Icing - icing sugar and water to desired consistency (remember not very much water is needed at all)