I cannot believe another year has gone by already. It doesn't feel like yesterday that I sat here at the end of last year considering my life, what I had accomplished and what needed changing, and here I am again doing the same. Do you believe in resolutions? I am a huge fan of them, but not just at the new year, EVERY DAY! Every single morning is an opportunity to resolve to do something better, to do something we haven't done before, to try harder, to be more consistent, motivated.
My last few years have been quite a flop if I am honest. Since having children I have found it really challenging to manage my time and energy levels enough to spend time with God, actual QUALITY time with him. Yeah sure I have learnt a lot about patience, love and self sacrifice through being a mother and have still felt very close to God in the process and very in tune with him in my day to day, but what I have been lacking is actually the opportunity to feed of his word. Well, that is gonna change this year. woohoo! I have finally figured it out, although it's taken me long enough... I cannot read in the evening, I am too tired and burnt out by the day. I have no time in the daytime because the days are always just so full on. I might be able to grab 5-10 mins here or there but that is not enough for quality prayer and reading. SO, that leaves me with the only other option but to get up and have this time with God before the monkey's wake up! I had come to this conclusion even a year ago, but throughout the past year have not managed to commit to getting up at 6am. Always too tired, went to bed too late etc etc. But now this is going to change and I am SO excited for what God has in store for me!
To actually get up and spend some time, just me and God before the day begins, it's going to be SO refreshing. I am NOT a morning person, but I have realised I have to train myself. This cannot just happen naturally anymore than a person running a marathon without training. It is a discipline I have to commit to, and push through the pain of it until it becomes second nature. The getting up part is agonising, just another hour in bed, oh I need just another hour in bed! But when I come to the end of my day again and realise I have not read or prayed, I feel worse than that initial feeling in the morning. I long to be with God and draw closer to him, and it's going to take a disciplined effort to do so. The benefits of this will far outweigh any negatives. The JOY of spending the past few morning with God in the peace of the morning have been bliss.
This isn't about 'reading' and 'praying'. That is not what is required for salvation. That is not a passport to the Kingdom. If I force myself to get up and do this I am not ticking boxes to earn my salvation,NO! I am ALREADY saved. I don't need to fear the judgement or whether I will be in the kingdom or not, it is already done for me. What this is about is drawing closer to God BECAUSE he has saved me and because of gratitude. To draw close to him and he will draw close to me. THAT is what this is about!
