One month today - it's really happening

30

Thirty

Yep, I'm thirty. Didn't see that coming! How do I feel? Thankful mostly, incredibly thankful. Thankful to be here, to be living and breathing, and loving and sharing my life with my husband and 3 kids. How could I not be thankful for that? What a lot I am blessed to show for my age. But also incredibly thankful to be safe, while we are still safe. The events of the past wkd have left such mixed feelings. Celebrating turning 30 with my amazing family and friends, while Paris is being attacked by terrorists. Awful, just awful. It's so hard not to question why such brutality is 'allowed' to happen, why innocent people have to suffer such pain and fear. Such grief. These are testing times. My faith is tested, pushed, really pushed. By the terror and violence all over the world, but also by my own battles here in my own little life. 30, and about to undergo my 15th surgery. Living with chronic ear pain, infection, hearing loss, bone anchored hearing aids and cholesteatomas is my fight. It is my battle. I'm tired of fighting, but I must keep on going. This wkd has given me perspective, my battle is not to be compared with world events, poverty and the wars raging all around us. I will always remember all I have been given, including my surgeries, because without them, I would not be here. But for today, the battle of my own still feels real and hard and frustrating, so I look up to him who rules in the Kingdom's of men, for strength for today, and that I trust there will be enough tomorrow.